Tag Archives: Travel

My Urban Cowboy – W4M

25 Aug

YOU:  An aging gentleman in leather chaps, a beaded leather cowboy hat, and a string of white seashells dangling from your jowls.  Your shirt was unbuttoned to reveal just enough of the dark, cavernous world of your innie belly button to leave me wanting more.  Your salt and peppery mustache enveloped the nozzle of your bottle of Diet Sprite and your wide stance betrayed the secret that you had recently dismounted your steed only to board the Brooklyn-bound L train.

ME:  Younger white girl in a Rosie O’Donnell-esque tunic and a questionable boot, who was breaking a considerable sweat carrying a humongous mural of the Grand Canyon.  As I maneuvered onto the train, our eyes met– the only part of me you ever saw since the Grand Canyon was covering the rest of my body as well as the bodies of the two disgruntled strangers seated to my right.

US:  The electricity that vibrated throughout that fateful caboose cannot be denied and I shall not sleep until we share our tales of the dusty trails over a bottle of sarsaparilla.  Godspeed, elusive cowpoke. I’ll be waiting.


The 2012 Keychain Experiment

26 May

After five months or so on OKCupid, I have come up with the most brilliant of plans.  Almost every guy on the website uploads pictures of himself doing some serious traveling.  Many of these guys even kill two birds with one stone and put up a picture where they’re in a foreign country, topless, jumping off a cliff into a body of water.  This allows them to show us ladies not only how worldly they are, but also what they look like without a shirt on.  And we all know how important the shirtless bathroom mirror shot is when selecting a mate.  Sometimes I’ll even check out a guy’s profile and find that each of his profile pictures were taken in a different country, featuring him wearing sunglasses and a fez, riding camels, climbing a monument, spelunking in a fanny pack, holding someone’s native baby, etc.  In many cases you can’t even tell what they look like because they are so far away in front of a mountain or something on fire.

Anyway, after lamenting for days over how my keys have been looking a little naked lately, I came up with a pleasing and challenging solution:  Try to get as many guys to bring me a keychain offering as I can!  I can’t afford to travel the world right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a happening keychain situation.

None of my friends seem to be as excited about this as I am, but really, the possibilities are endless.  Ah well, who will be laughing when I have fobs from around the globe?!  Right now, I’m looking at potential keychains from Prague, Morocco, Uzbekistan, and Idaho.  I wasn’t sure if they have keychains in Idaho, so I told that guy I would accept a potato magnet as well.

Thus far, I have received one keychain- A Washington D.C. one from Judgmental Jonah. Here it is with my keys and yoga card.

I will be sure to keep you abreast of any and all keychain updates!