Tag Archives: Saturday Night Live

Best Blind Date Ever?

29 Dec

I’ve been so busy lately, I almost forgot to tell you about the last blind date I went on before deactivating my account!  Well, actually there was another one before that, but I stopped listening to him two sentences in after he asked if I liked “Jim Morrissey”… so I have nothing to say about him.

Anyway, three weeks ago I had planned to meet a guy at a wine bar down the street from my work.  I had given “Alex” my number prior to disabling my account, but, when he texted me, figured why not meet one last person before the holidays.  I recalled his pictures being cute and he was a writer with an impressive resumé.  The place where we were meeting was expensive and I was running low on funds that week, so I waited for Alex across the street at a pub.  Fifteen minutes before he was due to arrive he texted me that his event was running long and would I possibly be OK with coming to the Upper West Side?  He said he understood if I didn’t feel like it, but it was open bar, the cast of Saturday Night Live was there, and he would pay for my cab if I went.  ARE YOU KIDDING?  You had me at open bar.  I jumped in a cab and tried to connect-the-dots on my eyeliner in the backseat, wishing I hadn’t dressed like a butch little league coach that day.

The cab dropped me off at the Museum of Natural History (which was obviously closed for the night) and I waited for Alex at a side door by Central Park.  Soon, a nicely-dressed young man walked briskly around the corner and introduced himself as Alex.  The first thing he did as we walked into the museum was pay me back for the cab.  I felt weird taking money from someone I didn’t know (especially someone letting me be their plus-one to a private event), but he insisted.  We passed black bears, moose, and tigers, descending into the center of the museum, underneath a gigantic whale.  “This is Hmakfhajsd,” Alex introduced me to an older man, “it’s his party.”  As we made our way to the bar, he explained that the man was a chief executive for IFC and we were at the season three premiere party for “Portlandia.”  I looked around and gathered that the museum had been garnished in Portland-themed decor– giant ice sculptures with bicycles frozen inside, birdhouses made of wine corks, and dozens of terrariums.  Alex ordered me a double glass of wine after seeing how small the original pour was (my hero), and we made our way past multiple people I recognized from various TV shows to a couch in the corner.

“Wow,” I said, “I see famous people at work all the time, but I’ve never been in a room with so many of them at once.”  He smiled an aww-she’s-from-the-Midwest smile.  It turned out Alex knows just about everyone.  And he has written articles for Vanity Fair, New York Magazine, and (my favorite) the “Ask a Guy” column in Glamour Magazine.  Apparently he is one of the men who respond to reader questions such as “I haven’t seen my boyfriend in two months.  Is he cheating?” or “What is a blow job?  How do I make one?”  This fun tidbit easily eclipsed the free wine, the bike in ice, and the fact that David Cross had just walked by.

I always make fun of the people who move to New York and talk about how they totally just had a “New York Moment” because they went on 75 auditions, then saw “Mary Poppins” on Broadway then ate frozen yogurt bareback on a horse while singing “Don’t Rain on My Parade” all in one day!!!!  But, as I rode home in a cab that Alex (maybe the nicest man ever) yet again had paid for, I concluded that I had just experienced a New York Moment.