I’m OK, You’re OK

20 Mar

There were a lot of self-help books in my house growing up.  One of them was “I’m OK, You’re OK” by Thomas A. Harris.  Although I have yet to read the book (I’m sure my mom would gladly lend me her copy), a blind date from last week reminded me of the title.

I had hastily agreed to a date with “Joshua” after a couple messages and I was a little nervous about meeting him.  In one picture he appeared to have extraordinarily unruly neck hair, and his earlobe was sitting on the collar of his shirt like it was reclining in an armchair.  It also struck me how much he looked exactly like a young Nathan Lane.  But the part that alarmed me most was that his profile picture was uploaded in 2006!  Who knew OKCupid had been around that long?  I was worried that he might be a creepy online dating prowler with a rap sheet six years deep.  But I was wrong.

Joshua was what OKCupid refers to as “a little extra.”  He had a chipped front tooth and freshly trimmed neck hair.  His voice was gentle and soft-spoken, and he periodically stroked the bridge of his nose when he was thinking.  According to him, I was his first blind date ever.  “Oh really?” I asked skeptically, “But how long ago did you join?”  He answered that his profile was created a few years prior but he froze the account when he started dating someone.  He had grown up outside of Dallas, attended art school in Savannah, and now worked for an advertising firm.  Our chat revolved mainly around books and music, but it was probably the most serious conversation I’ve maintained on a date in awhile.  Before we parted ways Joshua recommended an Ira Glass episode that he thought I would like about persevering through the ups and downs of creative work.  He also paid for my drinks– which caught me off guard because it hasn’t happened in so long.

Even though I wasn’t particularly physically attracted to Joshua, the date was refreshing.  He was calm and seemed to have a strong sense of self, without being self-involved or judgmental.  He mused that we both come from creative backgrounds, but neither of us are 100% certain of where our lives are going to go from here.  And guess what?  It’s OK.  That’s something you don’t often hear in this city where everyone is supposed to be perfect and successful and know exactly what they want.  There’s still time to figure it out and we’re all going to be OK.  I got on the train back home with a sudden sense of relief after weeks (months) of freaking out about every aspect my life– job, city, friends, guys.  I promised to give myself a break more often.

The wonderful thing about OKCupid is that even if you think you’re about to meet a creep and you aren’t looking forward to the date at all… you just never know what the conversation will lead to.  A lot of people miss out on this because they spend more time analyzing the messages in their inbox than getting out there and meeting people!

Stay tuned– I had two other blind dates last week that proved to be a little more… interesting.

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One Response to “I’m OK, You’re OK”

  1. SocialEyesNYC March 20, 2013 at 10:50 am #

    Good for you, girl!!

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