I Put a Spell On You

8 Mar

A few days ago I received this message from a Turkish gentleman named Berk:
“Hi, I’ve been living in U.S for couple years. They have been saying to me that I look like J. Depp in here :)  Would u like to get coffee or drink this week?”

I had just rejoined OKCupid and wanted to set up some dates, so I responded to his alluring message that I was free on Thursday.  After agreeing to meet him, I took a more thorough look at his profile and discovered he had on at least three necklaces in all of his pictures.  I don’t know about you, but that is about three necklaces too many if you ask me.  Also, under the “I’m Really Good At” section he wrote “Good listener. This means I listen when a person talking in front of me or over the phone or on the internet platform.”  Ohhh, is that what that means?  This guy was starting to sound like a real bore.  To make matters worse, he began texting me while I was out with friends on Wednesday night.  Here is the conversation that ensued:

Berk:  Hi, how are you doing?

Me:  Magnificent.  You?

Berk:  First time in my life I’m getting answer like that much different then usual is from “how are you” question :)  Thank u I’m good too :) what r u doing up to now?  Are we still on for tomorrow at 6?

Me:  Sure, where?

Berk:  Wanna meet at Barcade or different place?

Me:  Barcade works.  I’ll be the one playing Frogger wearing a mystical cape and holding a wooden staff.

Berk:  You like to wear mystic?

Me:  After nightfall I am free to wear my witch outfits.

Berk:  Hmmm. That’s cool. I liked your pics. Hope you are the same as cute like those. Just kidding :)

Me:  No you aren’t.

Berk:  I believe you are same as pics I meant.  So what’s your hobbies what do u like to do?

Me:  Oh you know.  Witchcraft, treason, cooking in my cauldron, spells, potlucks.  You?

Berk:  Really?  It’s interesting… Mines are routine things. Like sport, soccer. I go to gym sometimes rarely. I like house music. Cinema of course.

Me:  Ah, have you seen The Blair Witch Project?

Berk:  Yes I watched.

Me:  I was in that.  I played the witch.

Berk:  Wooow really bravo!  I only noticed your smile, tattoo and you are scorpion. I didn’t know that you are a witch. Did u do witchcraft on me already? ;)

(The next morning)

Berk:  Hey good morning. So I didn’t see your name on the cast of the Blair Witch Project?

Me:  Drat!  You’ve roused me from my slumbers.  I cannot rise in the morning light.  Only at night, when the moon gleams bright.

Berk:  Sorry.

(Later in the day)

Me:  Regrettably, I won’t be able to join you tonight,  I imbibed too much poisonous toadstool brew last night and am feeling a bit “cursed” today, so to speak.

Berk:  Hmmm ok.

I could have just told Berk the Turk that I changed my mind and didn’t want to go out with him… but at least this way he thinks I’m a spooky witch.  And since everyone apparently tells him he looks like “J. Depp” he shouldn’t have any problem finding another date.

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6 Responses to “I Put a Spell On You”

  1. lifeofalovergirl March 8, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

    Hey! You’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award!! http://lifeofalovergirl.wordpress.com/2013/03/09/once-twice-three-times-a-liebster-lady/

    • WhatsInTheBoxBlog March 9, 2013 at 9:34 am #

      Cool thanks! I’ll have to figure out how to do this later when I’m bored at work :)

  2. Pretentious Coffee March 8, 2013 at 8:19 pm #

    After reading all these OK Cupid stories I think it’s time for me to join. The material out of these dates is priceless! Thank you for opening my eyes.

  3. dragonfly1121 March 9, 2013 at 8:32 am #

    That was awesome! The fact that he looked up the cast of Blair Witch Project was priceless :)

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