And It’s Fun to Think About

23 Dec

There is a box on OKCupid profiles where you establish your astrological sign, then tell potential matches whether or not you take any stock in astrology.  Most guys on the website give their sign, but specify that they don’t care about it (that’s the manly thing to do).  I checked “Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about.”

While my sister and I waited to board our flight home, I expressed my concern that I sometimes come off as a bitch to guys I like.  She responded “Maybe the reason men see you as a drinking buddy or a rebound is because you put them down and turn everything into a joke.”  I considered several brash statements I’ve made to two different guys and realized she might be right…

“Did you spray yourself with Febreeze before you came out tonight?”
“You seem taller than I remember… are you wearing heels?”
“My coworkers know you as ‘The Chimichanga Guy’ because you only eat chimichangas.”
“Your hair looks like a newborn kitten!”
“Wow, and I thought I didn’t have a filter.  Let’s see if you can go five whole minutes without talking.”
“Why do you always eat raw onions before we hang out?”

Now hold on, before you write me off as a big jerk…  I know that I do this as a sort of defense mechanism.  If I’m in a situation where I feel nervous or unsure I tend to cover up my insecurities with bad jokes.  If I insult someone, chances are that I like him– if I don’t make fun of him, I’m probably bored.  Makes total sense, right?

Yesterday I found an astrology book in my old bedroom and flipped to my sign.  When I got to the part about Scorpio women and relationships, a paragraph caught my eye.  I ran downstairs and read it to my sister.  See!  There is an explanation for my obtuse tactics.  It’s right here in this book!

From Gary Goldschneider’s Everyday Astrology:
“Affection and the Scorpio–  Scorpios often express affection through making jokes or even hurling insults, with a twinkle in their eyes.  You are supposed to know that this is, in fact, affection, and Scorpios expect you to never be offended by it… Scorpio humor is rather strange in that it often involves making fun of the other person… Once Scorpios make such a statement they are likely to inflict further hurt (unintentionally, of course) by giving a provocative smile or even a full-throated chuckle or outright laugh.  The trick is not to react negatively, but instead to laugh along with them.”

I looked at my sister with relief, as if everything I have ever said and wished I could take back after the fact was so easily excused.  Her answer was simple…

“But no one will know that unless they have this book.”

Oh yeah.


4 Responses to “And It’s Fun to Think About”

  1. Day Today Dating December 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm #

    Your sister gave valuable advice. We all have our defense mechanisms, but it’s helpful to look at our own approach and really think about the effect it may be having on potential relationships.

    – K.

  2. Lee Geary December 24, 2012 at 1:03 am #

    “You seem taller than I remember… are you wearing heels?”

    haha that’s great!

    I’m similar. It’s all good banter. Except when people get baffled.

    I remember I made some sarcastic remark to a girl who was a terrible singer, and she somehow took it as a complement, and got all gooey. Then we were in this weird spot where I wasn’t serious, and she thought I was serious, and I at least, was confused.

    • WhatsInTheBoxBlog December 24, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

      Thanks! Haha your date sounds like an interesting scenario. At least it was positive!

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