Text Message Confessions

30 Oct

Below is a series of text messages I received a few nights ago while my phone was dead:

HIM:  You’re electric to me, lady, and you’re as lovely as ever.  Really good to see you I hope we can do it again.  In fact, can you see me tonight?  I know you have plans, but say yes.  I really like you; if this is the only way to see you I’m in.  But remember I want more… I want you to myself.

(A few minutes later)  Ok, I’m embarrassed, won’t bother you again.  Apologies and regrets.  I’m a terrible friend.  I respect that you’re not into me romantically.  I’m sorry to be so dense.  You mean the world to me and I’m glad for your friendship.

(A few hours later)  Our remaining contact is by phone; I’m deleting your entry and I expect you will do the same for mine.  I’m sure you understand.  Thanks.  I need to not be able to talk to you.  Also never think about you.  Not trying to be dramatic, I think we’d be better off in the end if I can shake my feelings toward you.  So out you go.  One day you’ll be less to me than Emily or Nina, but we might be actual friends.  Delete delete, you with me now?  No need to respond.

(A few minutes later)  I really like you, do you not get it?  It’s the weirdest thing. I don’t like it much either, but no joke.  I want you to like me, too.  I need to back off because you are extremely important to me and I’ll ruin everything trying to rape you one night.  You looking for a friend?  I will be that but give me a little while alone.  And don’t remind me that I live with my girlfriend.  Best wishes.

ME:  Hi there, I think you have the wrong number!


4 Responses to “Text Message Confessions”

  1. Jib-Jab October 31, 2012 at 2:04 am #

    whoa! the last part was quite scary!

  2. @somefactory November 2, 2012 at 2:27 am #

    Loving your posts!!!!

    • WhatsInTheBoxBlog November 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm #

      Thank you! I’m gonna have to catch up on yours, but I saw some fancy footwear on it last week!

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