Trial & Errors

11 Feb

One of the pros of being on a dating website and having this blog is that I often wake up in the morning to messages like this:

“Hi, how are you. I am researcher in a Columbia University and new in USA. I need girlfriend here. I can’t speak English very well and I can’t understand very well. Do not be afraid, I am only not well. You looks very beautiful and I’d like to meet you a lot. Everybody likes me in my Country. I am a romance; like beautiful flowers; going to movie with you; sightseeing together New York, museums important building; to have sex; walking together hand in hand and kissing your lips. Maybe you can notice my green eyes. But don’t kiss, you can’t understand me. I am kissing very well (girls kissed by me say me). I think you send me an e-mail too. See you…”

On the other hand, the major con of it all is that when I meet a boy (not from the website) that I actually like, it is difficult for me not to screw it up.  In writing this blog, I have conditioned myself to constantly be looking for the humor in every situation with guys.  If I don’t take anything seriously, then when it ends in disaster it will only add to the hilarity and I won’t have to deal with feeling rejected or hurt.

The problem is, going out every night and being self-destructive aren’t attractive hobbies and I’ve heard they can be detrimental when someone is interested in getting to know you.  Not to mention I have been doing the whole bar scene for a number of years now and where has it gotten me?  Not very far.

A guy that I have only known for about a month recently told me that he wants to partake in activities with me that don’t involve drinking or going to bars.  “Sure no problem.  We could…”  I paused awkwardly for a little too long before the only sober ideas I could come up with were going to the library, canoeing (not easy to do in NYC), or arm-wrestling.  He thought I was making light of the situation.  What I was really trying to do was hide the fact that I couldn’t remember the last time I did anything with a date that didn’t involve alcohol.

Don’t get me wrong, the way to my heart has always been to take me to the worst dive bar you can think of; bonus points if there are dirty old men, cheap beer, and classic rock.  The aforementioned boy had actually done just that a couple weeks prior.  He took me to an awful Polish bar in Greenpoint where there were $1 jello shots and the only other patron was an old drunk asleep on the bar.  It was the best date I’ve been on in a long time.  Fast forward a couple weeks and he is expressing his desire to cut down on drinking.  So naturally the next time we hang out, what do I do?  Get drunk and make an ass of myself.  As you can probably guess, this did not go over well at all.

I guess the moral of the story is that, at 27, perhaps it’s time to grow up and stop acting like a 21 year old.  My protective bubble of booze and humor only gets me so far before I push people away.  Additionally, I think I’m a pretty creative person, so I should surely be able to come up with activities beyond drinking, arm-wrestling, and canoeing.  I mean come on, I live in New York!  There are a million things I want to do, and most of them aren’t found in the local bar.  My sanity and my bank account will thank me.

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2 Responses to “Trial & Errors”

  1. ifitwasntmylife May 17, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

    I have recently taken to bringing dates to the Met on Fri and/or Sat nights. It stays open till nine and a) you can explore parts of the museum you might not have otherwise (one date had never been before – sigh – and desperately wanted to see the arms and armory, which, turned out to be pretty awesome) and
    b) their balcony bar is amazing and serves perfectly lovely overpriced drinks. i suggest adding alcohol to one of their mocktails. yum.
    so have a little culture with your booze. baby steps.

    • WhatsInTheBoxBlog May 17, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

      Oooh good call. I’ve never been there at night, sounds fun. Thanks for the tip!

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